The last few years I have chosen my path. I hold my head high. I speak with clarity and direction. I do my research and make informed comments as to hold back from snarking, "bullshit." under my breath. I leave many a meetings knowing that I haven't made friends and they hate sitting down with me as much as I hate sitting down with them. My plan is to have that exact thing happen- for them to dislike me enough, fear me enough, and to keep them in the backseat. I am driving and you can get on board or it's going to be an awful and drawn out ride. I don't give up and will not be intimidated. I don't work for you. I work for Nate. I also work pro bono, so you know I am working on sheer determination.
In the end, I hope they respect me. I hope they look back and say, "Ya know what? I would do the SAME thing for my kid.".
But the "retrospect" I hope they find takes time. In the meantime I make sure to aim my fight at the DISTRICT and not the teachers or therapists that work one on one with my child. Creating a divide in THAT relationship only causes harm.
This is insanely hard to do though. The IEP meeting is to create an open forum between parents, teachers, therapists, and the District, to create an INDIVIDUAL plan that will serve all of Nate's UNIQUE needs. But, it is not that. It is about the teachers and therapists being told what they need to cut back on and what they are NOT ALLOWED to authorize, no matter what that child needs. If the parent or outside professional finds that the child needs more, it goes over the IEP team's head and basically there is no discussion of what would suit NATE best, it becomes a game of who will blink first. (Good thing I am uber competitive-ha!) In the end they decide if they think they can push me around enough to win AND if they think my case would look foolish for them to bring before the superintendent. Unfortunately what is best for NATE is no longer a deciding factor. It's incredibly sad and makes me ill just writing about it.
So here we stand. Nate's school district has proposed one thing and I countered with another- of course stating all the legal and concrete reasoning behind my proposal. Now we wait. I love pushing it to the end of school. Guess what- you have teachers, therapists,and employees going on break and some are not under contract to attend a meeting. You better back down now because ya know what? I got ALL summer. I don't go on break. Stay at Home Mommy benefit packages are a little lacking in the "vacation" category".haha.
My first year in IEP-LAND wasn't as successful. I was unskilled and they DID railroad me. I hated it. I cried and couldn't understand why they weren't helping NATE. Then it dawned on me to fight back and not stop. The only person REALLY fighting for NATE is me...and when I say "fight" I mean FIGHT. Money is an ugly awful thing and schools are bound by it. You occasionally find awesome teachers and even therapists that haven't had their spirits broken by the District yet, and they will help you. But ultimately it is all on us. You accept your role and suit up. By day you wear your Mommy clothes and make cupcakes for class. By afternoon you tie on your MommyBeyotch cape and walk into your meetings (all 110 of them). I promise you that a reputation goes a LONG way. Of course I don't WANT the hate surrounding me, but you know what? They pick their battles...and they will learn to not pick one with me. They learned that lesson in Ohio and now it's time for Arizona to get on board.
In the meantime, we will just strangle Nate with all of our love. hehehe...
Love ya, T!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment